We made plans for the future. I couldn’t wait for the ‘Rona restrictions to end so we could hit that dance floor (Visiting Room). As far as long distance relationships went, me and bae ran it up! The phone sex was spectacular. We exchanged secrets. Promises were made. It felt as if I had finally found my match.
But then… things got out of control
Somehow the fights started. The yelling and screaming on the phone. I’m not pointing fingers. I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I know I’ve got a whole set of issues, but that’s not the point. The fights became toxic. That tit-for-tat shit got ugly. Yet, we always made up.
Still, things got out of control…
The number of angry calls outnumbered the peaceful ones. Instead of escaping this hellhole for fifteen minutes of globaltel freedom it was all bad. The calls caused more anxiety than positive elevation. It got to the point where I would lie to her about not being able to use the phone.
Then, on that last day I heard the “Fuck you’s…” That’s when I made the decision to hang up on her. I knew she wouldn’t go for that. She wasn’t weak either, but it just got to be too much. So I hung up knowing it would be the catalyst that ended our love affair.
Sometimes I feel like a fake. For real! I’m the author of the PRETTY GIRLS LOVE BAD BOYS series. How could I sit in the lab and come up with ways to seduce women from behind prison walls when my own love life is in shambles?
I can’t really come up with an answer to that question. But something I’ve taken away from that chapter in my life is that all these bittersweet experiences we go through is what makes life so beautiful. Yeah, why not? I’m sitting here serving a life sentence yet I found and lost love. How great is that? Who would’ve thought it was even possible to have found love in the first place?
If I were to offer some advice to anyone whose currently going through something close to what I just described, where things got out of control, I’d probably say something like:
“Don’t trip, homey. Lick your wounds and move on ’cause life is long and it’s not the end of your song. Love isn’t perfect but it’s beautiful so keep living because you never know what the universe has in store for you…”
[Wilberto Belardo writes under the pen name King Guru. He is a best selling author of books called PRETTY GIRLS LOVE BAD BOYS: AN INMATE’S GUIDE TO GETTING GIRLS and UNDERWORLD ZILLA. As an incarcerated author serving a sentence of life without the possibility of parole he has written a number of books with many more to come. If you would like to communicate with King Guru he can be contacted through Jpay.com/wilberto belardo ai4548]